Y'all I had this one hidden in the vault and I cannot believe I had forgotten about it! But fortunately for you I remembered because it's one to make you roll around laughing so hard you might need to sprint to the bathroom.
Ok maybe not so hard but you'll def get a lil chuckle out of it. Ready? this one is a short one but a good one.
I can't remember what app I was using at the time but it was likely bumble or hinge. This was around (one of the many times) I was completely over and done with online dating, didn't want to put the energy into it, and was close to deleting the app but then this random dude popped up. He was handsome, funny, and very successful. He didn't have a ton of pictures but the ones he had were mainly group selfies and one of him sitting at a dinner table with friends/family. Still, he seemed legit.
I talked to this guy for a very short period of time - I want to say we talked for about 2-3 days and decided to meet up for drinks on a Thursday evening.
I picked a place close to home to ensure it was a short drive back in case I got bored. We agreed to meet at 7pm, I arrived a little bit before, and sat at the bar to wait. "Parking!" read his text around 7:05 pm. Shortly after, he walked in and my jaw dropped.
Here walked in the biggest surprise of my life.
Y'all... the guy was 4'7".
FOUR FEET SEVEN INCHES TALL. AYFKM!?!?! (for those who don't know this is me screaming ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?)
This guy was so short I didn't know if I needed to kneel down, order him a glass of milk, or take him for a piggy back ride. For once in my life I felt like I was the tallest person in the world and it felt weird af.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against short people. I myself am very short and know the struggle we shawty's go through (shout out to my 5'3" and under squad!) but this was an important piece of information that was somehow missed in the mix. I felt cat-fished tbh. How does someone forget to tell me (or anyone for that matter) they're the size of a toddler!?
I know we should accept and love people for who they are, see beyond their looks blah blah blah. But maybe I don't feel like dating someone who would fit in my cat's carrier, mmmk?
To make this story short I stayed for a bit, had a glass of wine, carried him to his car, and called it a night.
I can't make this shit up.