Online dating is a thing of our generation. Many -if not most- of the guys I've dated, I've met through several online dating sites. You name it, I've tried it. I have yet to pay for a dating site but, you bet your a** I've taken advantage of the 7-day free trials. There's something about paying to find love that doesn't sit well with me and to be honest, ain't nobody got time to pay $30+ a month to go on potentially crappy dates! Are these dating sites the best way to meet a decent guy? Who knows. But I'm a "millennial" and that's what we do. Sue me.
Anyway, this next story is about a dude I met on POF a few years back (for those of you who don't understand: POF = Plenty of Fish). Based on the name of the site, you can probably imagine the quality of men. I should have known better and should have set my expectations accordingly but you live and you learn, right?
It was early December when we went on our first date and met at a restaurant in Arlington (I lived in VA at the time). He was nice, a little nerdy (nothing wrong with that - calm down nerds!) super into comics, video games and worked in IT. The date was short, the food was good and he was fun to talk to. Not really my type but I enjoyed the conversation. We agreed to meet for a second date the next day. He mentioned he had some sort of comic convention to go to in Baltimore (Comic-con maybe? Can't really remember since I'm not into these things) and suggested to meet afterwards.
The next day, he sends me a picture of him and his #squad all dressed up. You can probably guess by the title of this entry what he dressed up as. But, just in case you missed it, he dressed up as The Hulk. For some context: He actually covered his body in green paint. The costumes were pretty badass and I was pretty impressed with the level of dedication. This was early in the day and he said he'd be back home and ready to meet around 7:30-8:00 pm. I had made plans to meet up with friends at a bar and told him to meet us there.
Fast forward to nighttime, I'm at the bar and get a text around 8:00 pm:
Him: Hey! I'm on my way. Had to shower and stuff.
Me: Cool! We're here. See you soon!
8:45 pm:
Him: Hey! I'm here.
Me: Cool! I'm Upstairs. Come up!
The second floor of this bar is pretty narrow and long but from where I was standing I had a pretty good visual of the stairs. I see him come up and wave my hand so he can see me. As I am waving, I get a glimpse of his green hand waving back at me.
Did you get that? Let me repeat: a green hand.
I watched him as he walked towards me and the closer he got, the greener he got. He finally arrives and he's green. Head to toe green. Hair, face, nails, hands... any visible part of his body was - you guessed it - green.
He was Hulk in a pea-coat and I was far from feeling like Betty Ross.
I can't make this shit up.