Before I get into the story let me dive into why I'm doing this. In my life I have been on numerous dates. Some didn't go past a first date and a few made it to the serious "in a relationship" phase. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I have been through a series of bad experiences and I have learned to laugh at them and move on. For a minute I thought something was wrong with me and with time I realized, the only thing wrong with me is that I just really know how to pick 'em. I love charity cases or as my family in spanish would say "recuperar gamines" (For all you gringo friends: this kind of means something like I love to "rehabilitate hoodrats"!) Not to call my own bluff but I have become an expert in attracting scumbags and either getting my heart broken by them or just being so perplexed by their actions, I have no option but to walk away. I invite you on a journey to laugh along with me. I have so many stories under my belt, it would be a crime not to share and allow you all into my - very - entertaining dating life. Names will be changed (not tryin' to put anyone on blast, although some of them deserve it), stories will not be in chronological order, some stories may involve the same person (just different situations) but nonetheless, they will be jaw-droppers. Without further ado; let's begin with the most recent one. It's a fresh one - hence the title. I had been seeing/talking to this guy for a little over a month. I met him right after a shitty breakup (I love me some rebounds!) and after going on a couple of dates it seemed like he was a nice guy, had his shit together - a rare sighting nowadays - and was very upfront about what he wanted and what he was looking for which aligned with what I wanted as well. Because I was still in recovery mode, I wanted to go at my own pace. I was very honest and from day one made it clear I wanted to take things slow but also let him know that I was interested in getting to know him. He understood, we hung out a few more times and everything was going slow and steady which I liked. So far so good right? Just wait... A week or so before NYE, he invites me to spend NYE with him and his son (maybe too fast for that but I was ok with it) and he said he wanted us to go somewhere nice for dinner, get dressed up and ring in the new year at home having drinks. It sounded like the perfect NYE! I'm getting older (I'm not saying I'm old - I'm just too old for da clubz) and the idea of ringing in the New Year in my PJ's drinking champs was like music to my ears. He offered to pick the place and orchestrated the whole thing. Again, this was his invitation and his idea. Since we had been taking things slow, obviously I was waiting for the right moment for certain things to take place (mom and dad: sorry if you're reading this!) and what better time than NYE! I had this idea in my head it would be the most romantic time, that we would drink champs and watch the sunrise and we would cuddle all morning. I was ready to go my friends! Locked and loaded! Can you picture it!? Are you feeling the excitement!? Well ... sorry to break it to ya but you're about to get off that high reaaaaallll quick. Wanna know why? Let me make it easy and create a nice little list:
When I showed up he was hungover and tired from the night before. Hangover + Tired = no champs or staying up late for Mr. NYE.
He said he wanted us to dress up and so I followed suit and dressed up! (not to mention I was lookin' hot AF). He wore jeans and a very basic black sweater. Not dressed up at all, and I felt over-dressed but still hot AF.
We get to the restaurant (remember: this is NYE menus are preset and have set prices) we each ordered our meal and a glass of wine - he didn't want to do the wine pairings and there was plenty of wine at his place so it seemed reasonable to not go with the pairings and I was ok with that. However, his glass of wine was $23.00 - in his defense he didn't know.
He asks for the check, check comes, he looks at check, he looks at me, closes the check, puts check in front of me and goes "how do you want to do this?"
me: ...
Inner me: UM WHAT THE FUCK!?
Polite me: "I can pay for my part"... and so I did.
I paid $120.00 for a NYE dinner I was invited to as a date. Had I known I had to pay, I would've at least chosen a different spot or would have opted out. I can think of a million things I could've done with $120.00. Sure, he paid for his son too. But, he invited me, he knew what the prices were way ahead of time and if he couldn't cover the cost, at least a heads up... amirite? But whatever. I paid, he paid and we left. Think the story is over? Ha! Keep reading. You would think after that fiasco I would have left, right? But noooo stupid old me was like "well, maybe he's broke or whatever, let's see how the rest of the night goes" It was 10:00 pm at this point. After paying $120.00 for dinner you'd think the portions were large and we were stuffed, right? Wrong! So, we ordered pizza. At this point I'm like "Great! pj's, pizza, wine, champs.. it'll be wonderful. Who cares about dinner! It's about romance and quality time" .... at this point I really wish someone would have slapped me. Pizza gets there, movie is on, wine is served, we eat a few slices ... and he passes out. Let me wrap this up since you're probably like "what is wrong witchu guuurl!?". Midnight comes around, we cheers with capri suns (no, I am not kidding), he falls asleep on the couch again and I go to bed. And then the cherry on top ... We wake up, we cuddle, it seemed like maybe just maybe things could turn for the better that morning. He gets up and takes out the dog. I get up brush my teeth and wash my face. I then, walk to the kitchen. He's there and he's making coffee. I see there's only one mug. It's his mug. No other mug in sight. I look at him and say "I'd love some coffee! Can I have some?" His response: "Sure. Help yourself. Mugs are in that cabinet. I only have enough creamer for one though. Sorry. There's milk in the fridge." And that's the story of Mr. NYE. I can't make this shit up.